Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Daughter Of Lesbian: "I Ached For A Dad"

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Heather Barwick was raised by her mother and her mother's lesbian partner.

She isn't angry. She is not a "hater." In fact, well into her twenty's she advocated for same-sex "marriage."

But that has all changed now.

Both time and experience has taught her same-sex "marriage" is the wrong path.

She says same-sex "marriage" is not the same, nor is it normal as she was taught. She now knows that the traditional family is the best.

Addressing her remarks to the homosexual community in which she was raised, she says, "A lot of us, a lot of your kids, are hurting."

She says her father was not a good man, but, "My father's absence created a huge hole in me and I ached every day for a dad. I loved my mom's partner, but another mom could never have replaced the father I lost."

She has published an essay in The Federalist in which she directs her comments and her appeal, not to those of us who stand for and support traditional marriage, but to those who seek to redefine marriage. Those with whom she was raised.

Her essay begins with, "Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Hurting---I Am Your Daughter."

Yesterday I wrote that the foundation of the secular progressive's agenda is being questioned by the very activists who have been advancing and advocating for it.

Heather says there are many, many children of gay parents who share her feelings, but are afraid to speak out about how they really feel.

Apparently one of the homosexual communities' strongest arguments for redefining marriage and family is collapsing as their children come of age. Two mommies is not normal.

Heather writes, "Do you remember that book 'Heather Has Two Mommies'? That was my life. My mom, her partner and I lived in a cozy little house in the burbs of a very liberal and open minded area."

She says her mother's partner "treated me as if I was her own daughter. Along with my mom's partner, I also inherited her tight knit community of gay and lesbian friends. Or maybe they inherited me."

"In either case," she says, "I love them---they are my people."

It's only with some time and distance from my childhood," Heather says, "that I'm able to reflect on my experiences and recognize the long term consequences that same-sex parenting had on me. And that is why only now, as I watch my children loving and being loved by their father each day, that I can see the beauty and the wisdom in traditional marriage and parenting."

Heather says she grew up surrounded by women who said they didn't want or need a man. "Yet," she says, "as a little girl I desperately wanted a daddy."

She remembers, "It is a strange and confusing thing to walk around with this deep down unquenchable ache for a father, a man, in a community that says men are unnecessary."

"There are parts of me," she says, "that still grieve over the loss today."

She says, "Gay marriage doesn't just redefine marriage, but also parenting. It promotes and normalizes a family structure that necessarily denies us something precious and foundational. It denies us something we need and long for, while at the same time tells us that we don't need what we naturally crave. That we will be okay. But we're not. We're hurting."

Heather says kids of divorced parents can speak out and say, "Hey mom and dad, I love you but the divorce crushed me and it has been so hard. Hard living in two different houses."

She says kids of adoption are allowed to say, "Hey adoptive parents, I love you. But this is really hard for me...I suffer because my relationship with my first parents was broken. I'm confused and I miss them even though I've never met them."

She says kids of same-sex parents have not been given the same voice.

She says, "It's not just me. There are so many of us."

"Many of us are scared to speak up," Heather explains, because "it feels like you're not listening. That you don't want to hear."

Heather writes, "If we say we are hurting because we were raised by same-sex parents, we are either ignored or labeled a hater."

Not only has the homosexual agenda of political correctness silenced the church, they have also silenced their own children---until now.

The fabric or the secularist progressive and the homosexual worldview is beginning to fray and unravel. It cannot stand the test of time or Truth.

This essay is her attempt to tell the homosexual community that so-called gay marriage isn't normal and doesn't work for the children.

Activists have repeatedly told the public, "researchers" have repeatedly reported, and homosexuals have stood their kids up in the legislative hearing rooms of Olympia and Washington DC to convince us all that there is no difference between a same-sex "marriage" and family and a traditional marriage and family.

Not true.

Now their kids are growing up and telling a very different story.

Heather, speaking directly to the homosexual community, says, "I know this is a hard conversation. But we need to talk about it."

Heather, now grown up and married to a man she loves, has 4 children---and a correct understanding of what she calls the "wisdom and beauty" of traditional marriage and family.

We must pray that the Supreme Court of the United States exercises that degree of wisdom as they prepare to rule on the definition of marriage.

Be Informed. Be Encouraged. Be Vigilant. Be Prayerful. Be Blessed.


  1. Yes, it's an abuse to the family and society and not to them alone.

  2. Children of gay parents "coming out" is a sad but powerful means to counter the onslaught of the gay agenda.

  3. Congratulations, Gary, you found a child of gay parents who wished she had had a dad. Now, how about all the gay children of evangelical parents who suffer actual psychological damage at home and only wish they'd had loving parents?

    1. I can't speak for each case, but love requires discipline and instruction. There are far too few parents abdicating their responsibility to tell kids that God is not pleased with willful disobedience. Our society and our kids suffer because of it.

      Craig in Lacey

  4. I was watching on you tube, how a man was working on a motorcycle tank someone brought in for paint. It had been dented, and was left to rust badly and had been painted over with some cheap paint.

    After chemically removing the old paint one could see how badly the thing was rusted.

    He removed the rust with acid, worked out the dent with hammer and pry bar through the large gas fill hole, cleaned, filled, sanded, primed, and painted. It was a long process with many steps, not at all an easy, quick job.

    He said his heart and soul went into all that he did, and his name was on the product. His name was on the work and the tank, and I couldn't help but think of Jesus.

    I believe it's important for people to understand how restoration can be like that, and just because we bear the name of our maker, it doesn't mean he's completely done with us yet.

    The end product was amazing.

    1. And there was something else to learn from this tutorial. The man was teaching a young assistant the trade, and somewhere in the early stages of the prep work, the hammering and grinding, etc. , he told the young man to not try to get everything perfect, but to let the piece tell you what you can far you can go.

      I trust that God will often go only as far in our restoration as we are willing, and that some projects can only go so far, for the present time, though more can be done a bit later. Restoration often takes time and patience.

      I think of James I:4.


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